Monday, February 22, 2010

What happened in 2009 and what's to come for 2010...and why i hate people


First a disclaimer: What is a rant? According to dictionary.com it means this:

"to speak or declaim extravagantly or violently; talk in a wild or vehement way; rave..."

So, if you don't like arguments or observations using outlandish statements, outrageous descriptive narratives, or vulgar graphic language then don't read a rant. Rants are designed to be over the top. Oh and definitely do not read a blog where somewhere in its title it says "RANTS". Such as this one. Still reading? Then I trust you are intelligent enough to do so. Also, I trust you are not easily offended and not one of those morons who thinks everything they read is about them because if you are do yourself a favour and fuck off. If you are one of the easily offended and you choose to still read this blog, I can not be held accountable for the fucked up ideas you get in your head after reading this. Nope, if you choose to read this, you will have to take responsibility for your actions. Okay you have been warned.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let the ranting begin!

It's almost the end of February, time is slipping away, yet it feels painfully slow. Mostly due to the 6-week cleanse I'm on, which is pretty good, except for the non-drinking part of it. Only three more weeks to go and I know it will be the longest three weeks of my life, which of course inspires me to delve into the micro-economics full time outside of work hours. It's a little obsessive I will admit but then again it is too painful to watch other people enjoying food and drink. Which makes work a good place, because every one at work eats crap and at the same time, ironically think they are eating healthy. No your microwavable entree is not going to help you loose weight but maybe if you got off your fat ass that would help! And no, buying the wrap at Tim Hortons is not healthy, it is just healthier than eating a donut. There is thinking at the margin for you.

Fuck people are stupid, that is why I always end up back in school because I am convinced that interacting with people who make roadkill look intelligent will slowly eliminate my brain cells. It is like watching Keanu Reeves movies on repeat 24/7. So there we have it, micro-economics it is.

So now for the ADD tangent, what happened in 2009.

I travelled to Havana, Cuba; Amsterdam, Netherlands; and, New Orleans, Louisiana, while you worked late (and no one cared) went home to a wife you can no longer fuck (because you are a loser) and a gaggle of children that if they don't already, hate your guts, because you are pathetic.

Do I sound like I'm boasting? Okay maybe a little, but it is only because I'm sick of the fuckers that are perpetually shocked that I have money to travel and then proceed to resent me for it because I didn't marry my loser high school sweetheart and pump out three children by the time I was 23. You made your life suck, don't blame me.

And no I don't need to drive a car because everything I need is within a 20 minute walking radius of where I live. Are you reading that and thinking "Oh my god 20 minutes that's a lifetime!" Yet that is the exact amount of time you spend at the gym, where you fit your oversized ass into your undersized pants and then pant away on a stair climber and collapse into exhaustion because you are grossly out of shape because you drive everywhere and that 20 minutes is all the exercise you get. Of course let's not forget the 1 minute sex session you and your husband have, once a year, that results in, wait for it, another baby! Another human you can blame all your failures on. How exciting for you.

Another great thing about not having a car, yeah I'm ranting here, just shut up and read, is that my 20 minute walking radius is full of beautiful vegetation all year round and an annual temperature that never falls below zero, and did i mention NO SNOW, and not an asphalt concrete jungle where the streets are lined with cookie cutter homes that were obviously the end product of the insane musings of some hack bullshit architect.

Yeah so don't pull me into your diluted, delusional self-justification of your moronic life choices. Don't try to convince me of the merits of owning a car, you're wasting your life on that. But I know it makes you feel better, to hold your decrepit mini van, slew of degenerate children and disgusting man child of a husband over me.

Oh back to the point of this blog - I started this blog in 2009, which has been fun and finished the first draft of my sci-fi novel, which was painful but gratifying.

Oh and work zombies don't see the point of writing either but then again they are too busy driving their children to hockey and soccer games and complaining about how busy their life is and how we should feel sorry for them because they haven't slept much because of their kids...

What else can we blame on the kids? How about Global Warming - all that driving your kids to activities is fucking contributing to that no doubt and of course all the waste your children produce in the form of toys. If you just cut out all those stupid plastic wallmart toys you and every other loser you met once and invited to your baby shower bought you (likely out of some misguided obligation to give a shit that your vagina can expand to squeeze something out of it the size of a watermelon) you would likely eliminate global warming. Okay maybe not but definitely it would reduce the problem.

Okay ranting done for now.

So what's in store for 2010?

Israel/Palestine trip - the photo and blog adventures will continue in the middle east, can't wait

Micro & Macro economics courses - makes understanding our bullshit world that much more layered - Thanks Adam Smith!

Work on draft 2 of sci-fi novel - this is not an option, this has to be done - maybe over the summer, while I sun on my balcony and spend my warm summer nights with my laptop drinking some wine and eating cheese (oh how i miss wine and cheese!)

These seem like noble goals. Oh, what's that?? Oh you noticed how having children and getting married to a washed up loser didn't make the list? Yeah, they didn't, you can have your crappy life, I'll keep mine because it's awesome.