“I LOVE that artist but I would NEVER seem them in concert.” Yes, I say shit like that, all the time.
Pretty much everyone would agree that one of the most annoying things about me is how I feel about music. Annoying because my feelings seem to be inconsistent and contradictory and they contain Andrea Logic. Reasoning that only makes sense to me.
I love music. I mean does anyone really hate music? I may hate playing music (as in the piano) but I love listening to it. I love playing my favourite songs on my iTunes but not necessarily at an eardrum-bursting decibel, but as background music. Kind of like a white noise that accompanies my writing.
When I fall in love with a song, and like anything I fall in love with, I get a tad obsessive about it. I will listen to the same song like a hundred times in a row. But I can’t listen to the radio because it’s too repetitive. And I can’t stand the asinine banter between DJs and the ads make me want to do violent things. I hate ads! But most people know that, as that is why I haven’t been able to own a television in over 10 years. And when you get me in a room with a television I become immediately transfixed on the pretty moving pictures. Good luck trying to have a serious conversation with me if there is a tv present.
When I fall in love with an artist everything becomes about them. For example, Amon Tobin and I had a seven-year monogamous relationship. My longest yet! I was introduced to Amon Tobin and that was it, I was immediately smitten. I got all the albums I could get my hands on, even going to music stores and paying stupid prices for CDs. Then I found out he orchestrated the soundtrack for the video game Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory so I went and bought the game and borrowed a friend’s video game console and played the game non-stop. It was a bit weird, and not because it was a video game (love those), it just wasn’t my type of video game. I mean this game required stealth. I’m more of the throw myself into a room full of zombies and try to kill as many as I can before they eat my brains out kind of gal.
Anyways, the point is, all I could do was listen to Amon Tobin, for years nothing else could penetrate the musical tastes of Andrea. Then I just stopped listening. Maybe because his music got weird, ok, I mean more weird. As in too weird I couldn’t even write to it anymore. Or my tastes changed. As they often do.
My tastes tend to go in unexpected directions. Like all of a sudden I give up meat and go vegetarian. Or I give up drinking and start running. Or ditch Amon Tobin and move on to Ellie Goulding. And now I’m in love with Ellie. And everything is about Ellie. I have a huge girl crush on Ellie. Just LOVE her.
And some things just don't differ over time. I do not like live music. So if Ellie comes to town and you buy me a ticket, I will turn around and sell it. Confused? I know. Mostly it is because I don’t like to be in crowds. I’m just not big on being part of the herd. And then there is the fact I don’t like people being in my personal space. Or random people touching me, or breathing on me. Germs. Lots and lots of germs. It is weird because I do also follow the 5-second rule.
However I have been known to go watch a live show of my favourite artist if they are playing in a club. Where I’m allowed to move around and not be confined to a chair to sit and stare for 90 minutes. One of my best experiences at a show was watching Tricky at some obscure club in downtown Toronto. Where I was close enough to the stage I could feel his sweat hit my face. Apparently, germs aren’t a problem then either.
So even though I love Ellie right now, I won’t go see any of her shows if they are in a stadium. And to be honest, even if she was to play at a local club I probably would make some lame ass excuse to not go to that either. I guess it comes down to, that I love to enjoy music by myself where I can let my imagination flow uninterrupted. I want my own one-sided relationship with the artist. I don’t want them to dictate what I see of them either in a show, a video or an interview. But hey if Ellie ever wants to go for a run sometime, I’m totally up for that!