Sunday, March 30, 2014

Week 13 of 52: Top 5 coolest kinda-random stuff that happened to me this week

Note on terminology: 
First off, just have to say, this isn't a list of random stuff that happened to me this week. I know you may be confused at first because of the word "random" being used in the title, but if you look closely you will see the word is actually "kinda-random". What is kinda-random mean? I'm glad you asked, let me explain. I call stuff kinda-random because the event or outcome of the event was unexpected. Meaning, that I did not intend for stuff to happen the way that it did. I call it cool because I'm glad that it happened that way. Make sense?! Totes! Now let's see if you can correctly identify what is actually unexpected about the following 5 happenings...
I so want to fuck Noah! (so not what Jesus would say)

#1. I decided that the movie, Noah, might actually be a film worth seeing. And not because the poster shows a full body image of a rain drenched Russel Crowe holding an axe in it. Although, that is fucking sexy, that is not why I decided it was worthy of my time (seriously, true story). Ok, at first when I heard about this film, I will admit that I quickly dismissed it because of that whole trend of basing movies on bible stories thing. (Boring, don't care.) But then I found out who the director was.  Darren Aronofsky. Yes the guy that directed Pi, Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan. Ok yes, I disliked all those movies during first and only viewing but then when I ended up experiencing at least several days of post-Aronofsky film watching hatred after each one, I decided they must actually be good films because of the guttural response I get when I think of them. What that means? It means, that Noah is going to be some awesomely fucking disturbing shit, I'm sure of it. You know the type of movie you don't need to get high to watch but that you think you are high after you finish watching it because it was that messed up. Good times ahead. Contact me if you want to see it together!

#2. Celebrated X-mas with my work peeps on Wednesday. Hung out with them in a casual setting, discussed fun stuff and got to watch them consume x-mas themed beverages. Even though I only got to hang out for a bit before I had to run off to torture my run clinic participants with some hill work, I think I can say that was my best x-mas ever! Mostly because bonding was achieved without me having to get drunk and to a soundtrack of crappy x-mas music being sung by washed out aging rappers.


#3. Had this super awesome photo of Milla emailed to me by a loyal blog reader of mine. I agree it does make a good slogan. Thanks for sharing :)

#3 super awesome cool Milla Jovovich
#4. Got introduced to Lana Del Rey. OMG. Love her. I was cooking while listening to my songza playlist I reserve for my cooking adventures and I came across Lana! What a treat! A mix between sultry siren and film noir gangster. Absolutely in love with her!!


Here is a sampling of Lana's lyrics from Born to Die:


Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don’t know why
Keep making me laugh
Let’s go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come on take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words, this is the last time
Cause you and I, we were born to die

I would suggest you purchase her album Born to Die, off iTunes, stupid cheap right now because the rest of the world hasn't caught on yet as to how awesome she is. In other words, she has not reached Ellie Goulding status...yet.
 
#5.  Spent some quality time with the running coach, watching basketball and trying on running shoes. Clearly the most unexpected thing here was, that I chose to watch basketball and not because someone had a gun to my head (although that would be a pretty strange reason to put a gun to someone's head don't you think?!) and I actually enjoyed watching it. Kind of similar to the time I went to a hockey game and enjoyed it and I didn't need to get drunk in order to enjoy it. Shocking I know. I know it was only like the last 5 minutes of a basketball game but in basketball speak that means I actually watched 20 minutes of basketball. And let me tell you, that last 20 minutes (5 actual minutes of basketball playing) was so riveting that even I was shocked. 

"Wow! I have never been so excited about something I previously cared nothing about." ~ AK Gregg (How Andrea felt watching the last 5 minutes of the NCAA basketball game on March 28, 2014)

The other unexpected thing here is that I went into a running store to try on shoes and ended up not buying any of them...did you pick yourself up off the floor yet?! Good. Because this might be a possible sign of the apocalypse. I'm not entirely sure, it might be me just embracing my fiscal conservative values more consistently. Although, zombie apocalypse sounds way more cooler and more likely! 

However, and you are correct if you guessed this, that there is nothing unexpected about spending quality time with the coach. My coach is awesome, every second with him is quality. And it is certainly not shocking that I would feel that way about someone who let's me do the majority of the talking the majority of the time. 

xx you know you love me ;-)

Example of one of my cool kinda-random photos




Sunday, March 23, 2014

Week 12 of 52: Top 5 annoying runner habits

1. Runners who breed and can't control their offspring - please can your child not play on the finish line; even though I would highly enjoy watching his nose get knocked in by an elite runner's knee (go Dick Beardsley!), it is quite annoying.

2. Runners who start at the back and make a showy point of getting to the front! Dude! Start in your pace group! You are not great and you are still slower than everyone who will place in this race! Your arrogance is so uncalled for! 

3. At the end of a race, the runners who can't be bothered to acknowledge you when you say hi (and we aren't talking strangers but people I know and have run with!). Seriously dude?! Is your name Jim Finlayson? Oh no?! Then lose the fucking attitude! Finlayson could out run you in his sleep and yet funny enough he is not an asshole! Why don't you try aspiring to that?!

4. Runners who spit without looking. As in spitting and hitting other runners because you can't be bothered to move to the side of the road and not spit on a runner. Yes because you are so important that everyone must step aside when you come toddling through.  I'm looking at you red fanny pack guy who ran comox valley half marathon on March 23, 2014. Hypothetically speaking. 

5. Runners who get all moody and pissy after finishing a race they felt they failed at (even though everyone else around them thinks it is a pretty decent time, certainly not bad enough to make one upset!). And that runner obsesses about that race for weeks after by talking about it non-stop to anyone who will listen (or to anyone in a 10 foot radius of them; let's face it, it really doesn't matter that anyone is listening, they just like to hear the sound of their own voice). Wait a minute...that's what I do...ok this is now a top 4 list, as obviously everything I do cannot possibly be considered annoying!

Overly enthusiastic runners at the start line! So not annoying!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Week 11 of 52: Feb 17, 2014 dispatch from Qatar

An excerpt from an email to my coach while I was in Qatar. I believe he asked me how my week was going. He probably thinks twice now before he asks me anything...

Pictures were not included in the original email. I'm not that into myself people! 

Feb 17, 2014

...
My week has been interesting and different. Still processing. Lots of stimulus. I've traveled quite a bit, I guess, in my life so being here reminds me of a kaleidoscope of other places I've been. The cognitive process of how we interpret our surroundings is fascinating to me. So I've been thinking a lot about that. Because I'm in a Muslim country it's extra interesting because I have the whole media filtering to do as I process.

Right now in my life I kind of like it here in Qatar, I don't think I would enjoy it so much if I was Andrea 5 years younger. Actually I just would have never visited 5 years ago and that is probably why I have not chosen to visit until now. I'm just in such a different place right now in my life, this place seems to fit for some reason that I haven't quite figured out why. Although my going theory is it has something to do with transition.



Qatar is constantly changing I'm told. There is construction everywhere. Everyone seems very annoyed by the constant construction, whereas I feel at home in it. This external environment completely reflects my insides. And I get people's frustrations. Because there is nothing more annoying then trying to pin down a location and have it move on you all the time. Or move just as you get used to where it is. And it is not just the built environment here it is the administrative process too that is still being developed. It is like I'm watching the birth of a nation, it is kind of neat. Turns out that good planning and having a solid long-term vision are a rarity all over the world. haha Anyways I will save this for the blog I'm pretty sure when you asked how my week has been you were meaning running! 

...

When you correspond with me, you can always expect ridiculously long replies to seemingly simple questions. The lovely bonus of interacting with me; someone who loves the sound of her own voice!


Friday, March 14, 2014

What my brain produces when sleep deprived...

I don't know what it is with me and the poetry sometimes.  I love poetry but would not consider myself a poet and then stuff like this pours out of me and I think, well ok, maybe this works...

This poem was spawned at the mid-way point on my 24 hour journey home from Qatar. If I recall, I was going on about 36 hours without sleep and I had just finished reading a very  beautifully worded passage in McCarthy's The Road. Yeah, it is normal for you to feel concerned at this moment. Needless to say the poem was revised a few times and I probably should burn the original draft.

-->
Razor blade mantras

Off-colored white teeth,
pierce pale pink nipples;
gently,
softly.

Lie quietly,
drenched in decayed love;
the gentle rain,
from a rusted heart.

At the apex,
purple tipped firecrackers pause;
a visual symphony,
for pounding bruised flesh to.

Swaddled in sheep skins,
bound to a hemorrhaging soul;
the curdled clouded chatter,
of a swollen mind.

Ah,
I miss the way you hurt,
the exquisite absence of regret,
when you would love me.

March 13, 2014
~ AK Gregg
What goes better with weird poetry than David Lynch inspired photography!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Week 10 of 52: And now for something completely different…


 So last week I asked you all to vote on what I should write about in this week’s post. Apparently that didn’t turn out so well, seeing as only 5 people voted. Well actually only 3 people voted for actual voting options.

To recap: the voting options were…

     #1  More about Qatar!!!   
     #2  Why I keep trying to meditate even though I really suck at it 
     #3  And that’s why I’m single – more hilarious stories about my non-dating dating life
     #4  Recent literary obsessions - just finished reading Cormac McCarthy's The Road, found the ending      hopeful...
     #5  What movies to watch on a plane to give yourself nightmares for the next few days

The two most authentic votes were for #2 and #4. I managed to coerce a third vote out of someone for #3. The other 2 submitted their own voting options. One is too controversial to mention in this blog, the other was about why Doug C is my favourite co-run leader (kind of writes it self, so not much of a challenge there).

Anyways, clearly that was an epic failure. And another example of why democracies don’t work and why we really should just institute a benign dictatorship. Basically this lack of voter turnout suggests to me is that there is no reason to vote when things are running so smoothly.  So people don’t want to tell me what to write because they just love the randomness of it all. Fair enough. Or people are just too embarrassed to vote for #3 because that would suggest they are super shallow or something. Then again maybe this is why voting is done anonymously. Nah, I’m going to go with benign dictatorship.

I wrote this next post with your best interests at heart (you non-voting bastards!!).

Why you should not date a girl who runs.

Note: So when I say “a girl who runs” I mean “a girl who is a runner”. A girl who is a runner is a girl that embodies the runner lifestyle. Healthy eating, sleeping and exercise. That does not mean a girl who runs in order to offset her disgusting lifestyle of overeating and drinking. I mean a girl who runs because she is compelled to do it, she is drawn to it, she can’t live without it; basically, she is in love with it. Everything that girl does is to support her running.

I guess now that we got that out of the way it would have been simpler to title this post:  Why you should not date me.  Oh well, nothing is perfect.

Ok, so here is why. A girl who runs has goals. And guess what they don’t include getting married and raising offspring. Wait. Hold on.  Unless of course the goal is to get married at the finish line of a marathon, like the Barcelona marathon or some marathon in Hawaii. I could compromise with anywhere foreign and with a beach. Oh!! And as long as I get to run the marathon in a cute running wedding dress!! And actually, when I think about it some more, kids would be alright if we all were into running! OMG! Our family vacations could be the Disney half marathons!! So cool.
 
So cool!! But can we get married on a beach please!!
Ok I guess what I was trying to say about goals was, those goals aren’t necessarily your goals unless you can make them about running!

And actually, anything is kind of possible if I can somehow tie running into it. Which is actually kind of scary because I just found myself getting excited about family vacations at Disney land just because it involved running. Why this is scary? Because the thought of having my own family has never excited me, especially when it involves one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse (i.e. Disney).

So maybe don’t date a girl who runs because if someone brings up running she kind of tangents off. For example, we could be out on one of my famous “non-date” coffee dates and you are sharing with me some super important story from your childhood and a runner runs by. Oh! I forgot to mention that the coffee shop we are sitting at has a patio for us to sit at and it is sunny and beautiful out. And I’m not drinking coffee; I’m drinking tea (because I gave up coffee).

The point is, when you are in the middle of telling me this story that basically shaped who you are today and that runner runs by, I’m not listening anymore, I’m watching the runner. And I’m a bit jealous that I’m not running right now and instead I’m stuck here listening to your boring story about your alcoholic dad and probably having to drink lame ass tea to boot! It doesn’t matter that we met up for coffee after I just finished my 2.5 hour run because a girl who enjoys running that long actually enjoys running more than that. And guess what? She would rather be running another 2.5 hours than being stuck here listening to your stories that aren’t even about running?! I know your dad was an alcoholic but wasn’t everyone’s dad an alcoholic to some degree?! I watch Mad Men everyone drank back then it is kind of what people did. Now if your dad was an alcoholic who ran, now that’s interesting!?
 
Just another day at the office for good ol' dad!
Now I start wondering why you don’t run?

Oh right, you don’t like running because it reminds you of your dad, who was an alcoholic.

Why are we talking then if you don’t like running?

Oh right, because you said you were interested in running on your dating profile and that is how we were considered a good match! Stupid OK Cupid algorithms!!

And this is why online dating sucks.

Well thanks for the expired tea and nonsensical stories about how your alcoholic dad prevented you from doing something awesome like running. I’m going to go for a run now.

***

So yeah, that is why you don’t want to date a girl who runs.  She will likely pick running over you.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Week 9 of 52: It’s too early for this to be happening!!

--> I feel like there is a lot going on right now and I could write about anything and yet I can’t seem to focus on one thing to write about. I suppose this is what they refer to as the tyranny of choice...

So I’m going to put it to a vote. As my devoted readers I will allow you to decide what I write about next:

Top 5 Topics for me to write about:
1.     More about Qatar!!!
2.     Why I keep trying to meditate even though I really suck at it
3.     And that’s why I’m single – more hilarious stories about my non-dating dating life
4.      Recent literary obsessions - just finished reading Cormac McCarthy's The Road, found the ending hopeful...
5.     What movies to watch on a plane to give yourself nightmares for the next few days

So, leave a comment with the number of the topic you want to see me write about next. And feel free to elaborate on what exactly you want to hear about said topic. So for example, if you want to hear more about Qatar you would leave a comment like this: #1 – I want to hear about what criteria you used when deciding upon which scarves to buy.

Clearly I need your help. 
I will count the votes by next Saturday and the number with the most votes, I will write about. Even if I don't really feel like it. Ok. Got it? If you don’t vote you will leave the decision up to me. And that never turns out well for anyone So let’s work together to avoid a catastrophe people!


Hey! I could write about my compulsion to take photos of the sky when it looks like it's bleeding!! Don't like that? Then you need to vote!!