Sunday, June 22, 2014

Week 25 of 52: My argument for the development of the Kanye West Yo app

The other day I was introduced to the Yo App by my friend J. And it went a little something like this...

All stylish people have the Yo app!
J: So you know Yo?
A: Yo what?
J: Yo. The Yo app?

I had no idea what the fuck J was talking about and I was pretty sure she was messing with me, so she filled me in on the deets. I guarantee the following description may make you want to move to the country and sequester yourself on a compound.

Yo app enables you to say "yo" to your friends. Confused? Don't be it is super simple. It's like sending texts to your friends but without the breadth of the English language at your disposal. Basically it is the quickest way to communicate because you don't have to worry about what to say because you can only say yo. It's kind of like poking on Facebook but instead of sending a poke, you are sending a yo.  The Yo app received $1Million in venture capital funding and as of last week, apparently it made it into the Apple IOS Top 10 Free App list. No, I'm not joking. This shit is real yo!

Once the shock wore off, this news got me thinking that there really should be a Kanye West Yo app (naturally). What's that, you ask. Well basically it would be the same thing as the yo app but instead of just receiving a text message that reads yo, you could enable your notifications to have Kanye West say yo every time you receive a yo message.
Agreed! And I choose you to say Yo to the masses!

I know right, how cool is that? Fucking cool! Now before you get all, that's ridiculous no one would want that. Let me remind you that we are talking about the popularity of an app that only texts yo. And Kanye West could sell anything to anyone because he is, well, he is god. Case in point, Kanye West designed his own plain cotton white shirt, priced reasonably at $120 and it sold out instantly! So obviously the Kanye West Yo App would be popular times infinity! Bling bling motherfuckers!

I bet you are wondering how I came up with such an awesome idea. Well it is hard to say for sure as my brain is complex and neurons are firing all over the place it is really hard to know how I get form one thought to the next sometime. It's not like, I'm Madonna and can say that my best ideas come to me while I'm sitting on the toilet.

As an aside, I don't really understand toilet inspired ideas. When I sit down on the toilet, I'm thinking more about what shape and consistency my bowels will be this time. And how said bowel shape is a symbolic representation of my internal constitution at that exact moment. I could go into all the different types of bowel movements and what they mean in terms of my inner being but then this would be a really long blog post and apparently blog posts are supposed to be shorter than dissertations. 

So moving on...basically the inception of the Kanye West Yo app started with me watching the world cup in a public setting. Seeing as I don't own a television, I miss out on commercials. And it was while watching football in public and being exposed to commercials that I got to view one of the most amazing World Cup Adidas commercials ever! And this is where it began (watch youtube video below).

Dude! This is like the most coolest commercial ever right? And while I pondered the greatness of Messi, and admire the artistic direction and cinematography of the commercial, I think what is that song playing? The song, it brings it all together, it's perfect. I love this song. I can't stop listening to this song.

The God Google tells me the song is by Kanye West and the song is called God Level. Obviously!
That would be one stylish yo motherfucker!

So as I obsess about the song, and how I can't get my hands on it because it isn't officially released yet, I buy myself Kanye West's Graduation album off iTunes to comfort me. I love Kanye. I almost forgot how much I love Kanye, which is like forgetting why you go to Church every Sunday. Kind of strange really.

And as I thought about my love for Kanye and how listening to his music brings such joy to my life that's when it hit me. Why is there not a Kanye West Yo app?  How better life would be if I could just receive a yo from my friends in the voice of Kanye West.

So if we all pray really hard, maybe the gods will answer our prayers and deliver us the Kanye West Yo app. Oh! I really hope so!!

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