Sunday, July 27, 2014

Week 30 of 52: And that's why it takes me a week to bake something

A few weeks back, I had a moment of classic Andrea misguided optimism laced with creativity. Everyone's favourite Andrea moment, right?! Yes, I got to brainstorming all the innovative ways I could get my carbs in a healthy way yet somehow have it be via a cake-like format. Yeah, I wanted to try something different, something I had never made before (because that always turns out good). For the anal control freak that is me, this is going outside of my comfort zone.

So what will I bake...?

Zucchini Bread! I've never made zucchini bread before and it's got to be healthy (in theory) because it has zucchini in it!

Sounds logical to me!
All this = healthy zucchini bread! For reals!

So on Tuesday I bought a bunch of zucchini at the market, got home and thought, time to make zucchini bread! Wait! How does one make zucchini bread? Yeah, I didn't know, mostly on account of never having made it before. But it's bread so how hard can it be?

Except, I don't really eat bread, and now that I'm training I don't want to eat wheat and I want to eat vegan....so yeah, that actually kind of makes baking bread like the most ridiculous idea ever! But no problem, I eat ridiculous for breakfast!Bring on the zucchini bread making!

What was that about me and my misguided optimism?!

So I ask Google God for some guidance and I get a bunch of very unhealthy recipes sent my way. Not surprising considering the way people eat, but is it helpful? Kind of, in the sense that I will just substitute a bunch of the ingredients for their vegan/gluten free counterparts...and I also don't want to use any refined sugar in the recipe...

Ok, seriously people, this has "shattering nightmare" written all over it.

And as predicted, although I think we can't really call it predicting when it happens all the time, it kind of just is the way things are for me. Best to think of this as a process. I get an idea, I buy a bunch of stuff to support idea without thinking through the logistics of actually following through on the idea and then I get overwhelmed by the idea, then I think about the idea some more, then I get overwhelmed by the idea and this kind of repeats itself for a bit...

Why are you interrupting me? Can't you see I'm blogging over here?

Oh, you want to ask me how that can be my process when I'm such an anal control freak. That is a very good question. Very astute of you actually, and here I thought my blog was only popular with the drunk Russian communist contingent.

Answer: I am an anal control freak who has ADHD! Super fun right?! (Not always)

What does that mean exactly? Well, when I get excited about something, like baking zucchini bread (obvs) I don't want to think about it, I just want to do it!! I figure, in these cases, logistics will just take care of themselves (does that ever happen?!).

Why am I so easy going about this? Well let me first correct you and say, "seemingly" easy going. This isn't really easy going at all, it just looks that way. It actually is just another form of my control issues but with the impulsiveness and compulsiveness of my ADHD driving it! You see, whatever I get my mind set on something, this drive kicks in that will not let me stop until I get what I want. And I end up getting what I want because I will pretty much do anything in my power to accomplish my goals.* And if what I want is something light and fluffy, like zucchini bread, then everyone wins! But if what I want is world domination (take a shot of vodka my Russian comrades!), well that might be seen by some as an example where not everyone wins...?!

Ok, bad example, think of when I wanted to take up soccer, remember that? When I didn't know how to play soccer, and couldn't join a fun soccer league because I felt my performance sucked, so I joined a competitive team so I could get the coaching and learn how to play....I was so dedicated to learning how to play soccer that I would even commute to practice on my bike, which if fucking crazy because I never ride my bike on account of all my "bike trauma" issues, which funny enough weren't issues when I wanted to learn how to play soccer. And I can see, how you may not think this is a good example of my enthusiasm gone wrong, because I'm all goal oriented and getting shit done. But it is, especially when you are so focused on a goal you don't actually know that your body is getting injured in the process. 5 weeks later, I've got a tendon injury and I'm out for the rest of the season...

What did we learn here? Besides that my body can withstand 5 weeks of physical abuse before it breaks down...that my enthusiasm can have some adverse side effects. And yes, I'm working on it, that would be why I'm into that whole daily meditation thing!

Ok, it should become abundantly clear why it takes me a week to bake something, seeing as this blog post just tangent-ed off to I don't know where the fuck!

Back to the post...

So here I am, enthusiastic about zucchini bread, I bought my zucchini, I found a bunch of recipes I can't use but but can possibly adapt...and this would be the moment when things feel a bit overwhelming. As they so often do when my enthusiasm gets ahead of my planning (see long paragraph above for a very detailed description of this).

So I decide to think (read: obsess) about this some more and wait until tomorrow to bake my zucchini bread.

Wednesday happens. Wednesday kind of sucked in terms of getting my shit together. You know those days where you are getting ready to go to work in the morning and you are like, I really should just stay home, this day already feels impossibly hard. But instead you push through thinking whatever crazy fog you are stuck in is just temporary and will wear off as the day moves on. Yeah, the fog just got thicker, turns out I should have stayed home. So instead of beating myself up over this clear lapse in judgement I decide I will be nice to myself by rewarding myself with a run in the rain.

And yes, running in the rain is being nice to myself! I love running and I love not running in the sweltering heat. So yeah, while everyone else was complaining about the rainy fall type day we were having, I was not-so-secretly super stoked to do my run outside!

Ok back to the story...zucchini bread...going to bake zucchini bread. Despite the fact that Wednesday was looking a bit dubious on the productivity front, somewhere during my hill sprints, with my quads burning holes through my skin, and my body being hit with a slight breeze, a breeze just cool enough to freeze my sweat and make me think I may get pneumonia, I decide: I'm making zucchini bread when I get home tonight! Think me yelling at the top of a stupid steep hill, with a fist pump to the air! It was quite a dramatic moment, like Henry V rousing his troops before battle (see clip below & there is a fist pump!). Clearly, I was a little excited about baking zucchini bread at that moment.

Turns out that moment of excitement wasn't really excitement at all, it was just delusional thinking brought on by my carb depleted brain (brains need carbs to work people!). Sure, the carb depletion wasn't as bad as the time I hallucinated dogs running across the road in front of me, but I did think I was seriously going to go home and bake zucchini bread. What can I say, sometimes lack of oxygen, muscle fatigue and low glycogen stores makes one think ridiculous things.

Of course, I get home, freezing. So I need to heat up in a scalding hot shower for like 30 minutes. Then I need to eat some food, watch an episode of my new favourite tv obsession Hemlock Grove. Click this link if you want to see the best werewolf transformation ever! Produced by the lovely Eli Roth. Don't know who that is, watch this clip where Eli plays the Bear Jew in Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds, possibly one of my favourite scenes ever...and no not because there is biting in it! There isn't actually, just a baseball bat.

And by the time this is all done. So am I. Time for bed. I will make zucchini bread Thursday night.At least I can say that Wednesday night I did decide I would basically use my banana bread recipe and adapt it for zucchini bread...nothing can go wrong with that idea, right?!

Thursday. I'm at work, talking to my co-workers about the awesome zucchini bread I'm going to make when I get home and they are all excited for me because they love zucchini bread. And they start listing off all the ingredients they like in zucchini bread, all stuff I hadn't thought of because I wasn't looking at a zucchini bread recipe I was looking at my fucking delicious banana bread recipe! So yeah I totally forgot about walnuts, nutmeg and cinnamon! What kind of zucchini bread was I planning on making anyways!?

Well I wasn't planning at all, was I! And this is why we plan people! I mean I bought the zucchini on Tuesday and it is already Thursday! And I still haven't figured out the recipe yet or bought all the ingredients to make the zucchini bread!

So I hit the Market after work and pick up all the ingredients I had neglected previously and head home to...well it wasn't to head home and bake zucchini bread. I actually have no idea what happened Thursday night, I think I did some yoga, invented a new vegan dish for dinner...whatever, I will make it Friday then!
One of my many tasty vegan creations!

So Friday happens...I invented another new vegan dish and did over an hour of core and strength training. Probably decided that I had to get to bed early because I wanted to run at 6am on Saturday (avoid the heat!).

So here we are, it is Saturday. Yes, I went for a 6k run at 6am, then I helped my friend move for like over 5 hours and now I am writing this blog post instead of baking zucchini bread.

Clearly I have some blockage over baking this zucchini bread. I think that realization got me baking, because seriously dudes, who the fuck has issues about baking zucchini bread, really?!

Please note that by the time this blog post went live the zucchini bread was in fact baked and consumed.

The proof is in another blog post where I have put the recipe as well. Why, not just put it here? Well, this blog post felt a bit lengthy I guess...

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