|Proof that I still have my head!|
Please note: that I'm sitting on a bus with my headphones in my ears and I have not been beheaded by a mentally unstable machete wielding fellow traveler.
No, I have not heard back from mum, why do you ask?!
A few weeks ago, I was brunching with mum and telling her about my awesome plans to visit Nanaimo for the upcoming long weekend (true story). This is how the dialogue went down:
M: How are you getting to Nanaimo?
M: Are you sure you don't want to drive?
A: That sounds like work...no, I will be taking the bus.
M: (lets out a sigh laced with anxiety) Ok...just don't put your headphones in otherwise you will have your head chopped off with a machete.
[People at adjacent restaurant table drop cutlery on plates in shock at statement]
A: You did not just say that did you?
Oh, yes, my mum did just say that. For those of you who don't know, she is referring to an event that happened on a bus outside Winnipeg. Short recap on event I don't really know anything about other than that it happened: crazy (read: man with schizophrenia) chops fellow passenger's head off with his machete because god told him too?!
I'm sorry, I don't know who told him to do it. I never read much of the story because I knew the media was going to sensationalize this story to hell and back and in the process of such ill-researched reporting would contribute even more to the stereotype that all people with a mental illness are crazy and kill people.
Boiling down to: if you want to improve your chances of survival do not hang out with people with mental illnesses (In other words don't hang out with me because I'm depressed and will take you on bus trips where you are likely to have your head chopped off with a machete...) or don't hang out where mentally ill people hang out (so that would be everywhere?!).
|Bus bathrooms scare me more than bus people!|
My favourite (read: not favourite - this is sarcasm people) outcome of all this stereotyping is that it increases the stigma associated with having a mental illness and that prevents people from seeking treatment and leads to needless suffering and death.
I'm ranting. I know. I can't help it. I have depression, and this past spring I came out of one of the worst depressive events of my life. An event where I spent 80% of my waking hours trying to convince myself that the answer to end my pain was not suicide but simply the passing of time. When one is depressed and in pain, every second feels like an eternity. There is nothing simple about it and, it pisses me off that some of us feel this way and it makes me more angry that people shame us for something we are. Believe me, if I had the power to spend a day where I didn't think about suicide as a viable option I would fucking do it. No one wants to feel this way. It is not a choice.
So yeah, I decided to skip saying the above-mentioned diatribe to my mum (again), after all people don't really like listening to rants directed at them (but they sure love to read them!!). I instead decide to find the hilarity in the situation instead. I mean the statement in itself is completely ridiculous. And is the exact type of statements that I was raised with. So, if we break it down into how a child would conceptualize this statement, mum is basically telling little Andrea that listening to music will result in her untimely death by machete. And that is funny. Mostly funny because I'm not little Andrea anymore and certainly not because we are talking about death by machete. Just in case I needed to clear that up for anyone.
And a bit of insight is gathered from this story, as now I have a better understanding as to why I'm a basket of never-ending anxious energy and have random bouts of agoraphobia from time to time. This is my life and it is stupid ridiculous.
|Hanging out with the crab statute on Nanaimo's Waterfront seawall.|