Sunday, October 19, 2014

Week 42 of 52: The Birthday Test


If for some reason you feel the need to psychoanalyze someone on their birthday, this is the test I have designed just for you!

I think this test is an excellent measure of someone’s level of creativity. It’s a pretty awesome test because it is super easy to administer, on account of it only consisting of one question. That being said, there are a few downfalls to the test. The first being that it can only be administered on the subject’s birthday and the second is the time and effort involved in analyzing the results of the question and assigning a value to the result.

To help reduce the amount of time it takes to score the test, I have provided you with this helpful scoring guide.

Scoring Guide to The Birthday Test

Question: If you could have anything for your birthday, what would it be?

Directions for scoring: Assign a number to the subject's answer between 1 and 10 (1 = so not creative at all – 10= creative genius at its bestest).

Example of low level of creativity: Subject answers with a tangible item.
E.g., A car with no or minimal description added, such as "a Honda Civic" [assign score of 1]
E.g., A car with some description added, such as “a diamond encrusted Porsche” [assign score of 4]
 
Example of high level of creativity: The subject defines the word “anything” with an elaborate narrative, that involves multi-layers of explanation that resemble more of a parallel universe than current reality for this person or any person living on the planet in this current historical moment.

E.g., So I would take out my yacht, which is huge not tiny like Bill Gates’ yacht. Just so you know, my yacht is big enough to have a 10km chip trail running the perimeter of it. And yes, it will be a well maintained chip trail where cranes lift in the supplies that would be necessary to maintain said chip trail. This would be done on a weekly basis. I would take my yacht to the plastic island of the Pacific Ocean. You know, the island that is the size of Texas that’s made up of society’s trash. The former president, George W. Bush will meet me there (he’s flying in on his G6) for a round of golf. Yes, there is an 18 hole golf course on the island (naturally). Then George and I will take a selfie of us on the 18th hole looking all gangster and shit. Then I will turn the photo into a postcard that will say “Fuck the environment bitches!” and send it to every environmentalist I know. Which I think is everyone that lives in British Columbia. [assign score of 10]

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You’re welcome for me making birthdays interesting again.

Xoxo

AK Gregg

Ouch! Don't want to have to fish my ball out of that pond!

Looks like someone is above par!

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