Sunday, May 31, 2015

74 sex acts involving expensive chocolate

So I decided to return to my favourite online dating site: OK Cupid. Why? Because I want to meet my one true love, get married and have a shit load of children so I can have my own soccer team.

In real life, my answer is social experimentation. Come on, you can't be too shocked can you?

I'm a sociologist and I find people so fascinating! And the ones on OKC are no exception.

So here are my top 5 reasons that OKC is the best online dating site for me:

1) I get to talk about my favorite topic, me. And I get to do this in free form. None of this checkbox bullshit that restricts my creativity.

For example, here are some highlights from my online dating profile:


"What do I have to say about myself? Well lots, I love to talk about myself and don't worry it's all interesting."

What am I doing with my life:

"What am I not doing with my life would generate a shorter answer! So, I'm not strategically planning my entrance into politics, in which the end result is world domination. Yeah I'm totally not motivated by power and status...and no that is not a picture of Fidel Castro on my wall with the words "The Goal" underneath. Next question."

What do people first notice about me:

"My awesome sense of humour obviously!"

On a typical Friday night I am...

" ..declining invites to go be social. After a week of work where I go above and beyond what a regular introvert is even remotely capable of, I need down time to recover. Fridays I typically retreat to my cave, which for me involves: singing and dancing in my kitchen to Swedish pop music while making dinner, and then continuing marathon watching some show I found on Netflix (because I have not owned a tv in 10 years, all the shows on Netflix are new to me!). Just finished watching Hannibal last night. Awesomely delicious entertainment."

 Needless to say, within 2 hours of me being on OKC i received 53 likes.

2) I have an audience that hangs off every word I say and whom are in a constant state of wanting to hear more about me. To be honest, I figure everyone feels this way about me, they are just more open about it on the online dating site.

3) I get to post cute pictures of myself and now I have just another website that houses my beauty.

Example of a cute picture of me:

4) it's a good venue for increasing traffic to my blog. After I answered a question about my vegetarianism i provided a link to my blog post on Hanks' and now OKC is one of my top referral sites.

5)  Provides lots of opportunities to flatter me. Because I don't get enough of that?!

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