Sunday, August 16, 2015

Thing to blog #2: eat out less

I really would like to avoid another international incident like last week, so we are sticking with the original plan here: The second thing we all should be trying to do in 2015.*

*For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, here is a link to the backgrounder, once you have caught up this will make a lot more sense.

Again, as someone who makes about 75% of her food out of her kitchen, and the other 25% from such establishments that feature organic local kale on the menu, clearly this thing to try is not directed at my kind of human.
Yummy kale selfie!

I feel like this is actually kind of a vague and pointless thing to try and if I was creating this list I would make #2, eat less fast food. Personally I would rather it say "stop considering fast food real food" but I know you got to meet people half way.

So for my #2 eat less fast food, I would also have this footnote: I'm just being nice right here, really your goal should be to eat no fast food. But if you are one of those people that insist on ingesting toxins, may I recommend that you substitute fast food with smoking. Smoking will give you the same high and it will suppress your appetite making you lose weight. I mean all that matters is what you look like on the outside, and being thinner and unhealthy is way better than being obese and unhealthy. And yes this is fucking sarcasm! I'm not seriously suggesting you take up smoking instead of fast food. Ugh. Just stop eating crap already!!

I think it has become apparent why I don't make top 20 lists of anything for mass publication. I think there is a rule of thumb about footnotes not taking up more space than the entire list...thankfully my blog does not follow such stringent rules. And maybe I don't like all these rules because apparently I'm some sort of free spirit who at any moment could spontaneously decide to move to India and teach yoga...

Yeah, someone seriously thought that, and it bothered me. Clearly this person has never read my blog because then they would know that I'm way too self-involved to do any of that...

Anyways, now that you have sat through that very random tangent, I will reward you by directing you to some of my more famous blog posts on what happens when I decide to eat out and this may help you to eat out less or eat out less with me or never go into the service industry. Who knows what the future will bring!

#1 - Hank's Untraditional BBQ - what happens when a non-vegan vegan eats meat, and gives you a good idea of what dating me is like. And yes when you are finished reading it you will want to eat BBQ and you will have a good idea of why I'm single (this is my #3 most popular blog post)

#2 - The Melting Pot - a group of Canadians hanging out in New Orleans where they decide to try a new type of restaurant and pretty much everyone wishes they didn't... (this post is from the archives - 2009!)

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