Sunday, September 6, 2015

#5 the sociologist makes an apple crumble

Alright everyone, #5 thing to try for 2015 is "choose a new food to try".

Honestly, I don't understand this recommendation. Why is trying something new all that important? Why can't I just be happy with what I have and why do I have to keep trying new things?! I mean if I have found a food I love (say kale for instance), why can't I just stick with that?! What's wrong with doing the same thing day after day?! Rules and routines are great and they make life so much easier because I don't have to keep searching for something new to do because some stupid list suggested it!
A new selfie!! Doesn't this count for anything!?!
Clearly I sit in the camp of consistency on this matter. And perhaps this recommendation is directed to boring people like, I will be the bigger person here (for once), and compromise by forgoing my Andrea Logic by trying something new that involves food. And no it will not involve me venturing outside my home and interacting with other humans (well except at the grocery store). Instead it will involve me staying in and making something I have never made before. Apple crumble.

I will try making a dessert I have never made before. (Happy now, stupid list people?!)

So apple crumble it is! Why apple crumble...well, I bought a bag of apples and I need to use them up. Which is usually the case with me, I buy some food and then forget to eat the food despite my compulsive urge to not waste food. (See banana recipe for a reminder). So ridiculous this urge is, I sometimes punish myself by not eating if the food I was going to eat, went bad before I could eat it.  And YES i recognize that is fucked up.
That's a lot of apples! I would have had to starve myself for a week!
ALSO...I'm just craving a dessert that is comforting and has apples in it. Because...

Fall is upon us people!! FINALLY! Or at least I'm hoping it is, because it was too damn hot out there for me this summer that I rarely got the chance to run outside. So I'm looking forward to more running, outside in the cool crisp autumn air. And I'm also looking forward to eating Fall inspired foods. Like apple pies and turkey and gravy and potatoes...ok, I'm looking forward to thanksgiving apparently.

So in an Andrea attempt to marry these two urges (i.e., compulsive urge to starve myself and compulsive urge to eat a whole turkey - can we say eating disorder?! We sure as fuck can!), I will bake!

And who doesn't like baking?!  I will tell you who does love baking, all my friends, that's who! Because i always bake too much and then I can't eat it all and then I offload it onto them (this time my lovely friends visiting from Ottawa got to share in this culinary masterpiece).
Apparently I couldn't wait to take a photo before eating!
Apple crumble is way easy to make. So easy it was not really worth the 2 days of me thinking (read: obsessing) about it before actually doing it.

As all things Andrea, it started with some research (read: I consulted with Google God). I came up with many recipe options, so I narrowed it down to vegan and Paleo. I'm not normally someone who would try Paleo, on account of me eating mostly vegan food, but it does do a good job of avoiding the processed ingredients (like sugar!). So it is worth looking at just to get some ideas for sugar substitutes.

So after spending my Friday night researching (yes, I'm cool like that) I decided on a recipe.
Which was actually two because apparently apple crumble is a two stage process. First, there is the "crumble" and then the "filling".

This is what I came up with:

"Crumble" (aka. Granola) ingredients: rolled oats, chia seeds, honey, maple syrup, vanilla extract, almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, coconut oil, shredded coconut, cocoa nibs, dried tart cherries

Main recipe used
Makes a shit load of granola! So you could probably cut the recipe in half.
"Filling" ingredients: apples, orange mango juice, honey, maple syrup, cinnamon, nutmeg

Main recipe used:

A tip to save you time and still make you look like you are all gourmet and shit:

Don't peel the skin off the apples. First, when you take off the skin you loose some good sources of nutrients (without the skin you lose a significant amount of Vitamin C & A, Potassium and Fiber). And second, keeping food as close to the way it looked when picking it off the tree is called "rustic" and it is totally cool and if you throw that word around it makes you sound kind of pretentious and no one will question you! Third, in addition to the health and elitist benefits to keeping the skin on the apple, you also save a ridiculous amount of time by not removing it. And who doesn't like being efficient?! (weird people that's who)

So despite not peeling the skin off my apples it still took me a few hours to do all this. Mostly because I'm a perfectionist who needs to obsessively measure out ingredients and then pontificate about the process of baking and my identification with the feminine and then something about modes of production blah blah...yes, even the most seemingly simplest of acts (such as baking) are subjected to the critical gaze of the sociologist: an analysis so detailed, it can be almost physically painful to experience.

And this is why it is best if I bake alone. You're welcome.

So by Saturday I had obtained all my ingredients and in theory was ready to bake. But instead I watched some Scandal (love Olivia Pope!) and then got hungry and had to make dinner...

And then through some miraculous cliche of god, I baked the apple crumble. Yes, Saturday night I spent baking (and watching Scandal)...another example of my coolness.

And Sunday, I'm blogging about it, and finishing eating it. This time I'm trying it with coconut ice cream. And yes, it is vanilla!! Delicious.

So there you have it, my sociological interpretation of trying #5 - I tried baking something new.


  1. Just so you HAVE a comment: I LIKE it! I enjoy your quirky, but hi-brow humour! Intelligent women are SEXY! (We already know you are fantastic! I heard you say so.. :P :)