Saturday night I’m out for dinner with my good friend @TheCesspit, catching up after several weeks of misses (read: me bailing due to feeling too sick to run and hence socialize?!). So what’s new in our lives? Actually a better question is what is new in my life?
After all, for me to answer the former question of the two it would mean that I was listening and comprehending our conversation over dinner, which is about as likely as me not having the attention span of a rat jacked up on stimulants and who is now being electrocuted at 2 second intervals for the duration of the evening. What does that mean exactly?
Well, it means I was in full on Andrea mode Saturday night. ADHD to the max baby. So every time something moved, it caught my eye and my thoughts followed. Which wouldn’t be as bad if I were an extrovert, as apparently extroverts process information in a linear fashion, whereas introverts (read: me) process the same information through a neural network so dense it resembles a chaotic intertwined ball of yarn. Basically my brain processes information by taking the scenic route. And since I’m ADHD, it is like I’m driving a really sweet sports car with zero understanding of what putting on the breaks is.
|Yes my brain does weird shit like that.|
And so Saturday night, hanging out at my packed upscale Vegan restaurant with my good friend whom I haven’t talked to in weeks is overwhelming to say the least. So overwhelming I’m actually impressed I was able to have any semblance of a conversation with him. I am still Andrea though (read: perfectionist with a god complex) so I’m never entirely happy that I can’t give him the full attention our friendship deserves. And I will hide my disappointment at myself underneath a glorious covering of OTT humour because maybe if I can make him laugh it won’t be such an awful experience that he will end up rejecting me as a friend and never speak to me again.
That last sentence is ridiculous. Intellectually I know that thought is such incredible diluted childish bullshit that if I actually thought that, like BELIEVED that, my ego would reach such incredible heights, we would have to redefine the notion of Kanye West.
Emotionally the thought of me being rejected because of me being me hardly has an impact anymore. I mean the thought is there (we just read it up above) but it doesn’t permeate as often anymore. It mostly floats by my consciousness and dissipates into the fog of modern society. Until it gathers and takes shape again and tries once again to get me to latch onto it.
The notion of rejection, in all its misunderstood fucked up-ness, knows it doesn’t get very far when it comes to my friends; the ones who know my deep dark shadow self and accept me for me anyways. After all, despite all my previous transgressions, I’m still pretty fucking hilarious, I mean who can reject that?!
So how does this Saturday night end? Well two good friends did get to catch up over a lovely meal. And I did receive a text message later from @TheCesspit, which indicated that the evening was in fact not awful and that no regrets were had over being in my presence for said evening.
Oh and we negotiated a new challenge for the blogging competition, you know that competition that began 3 Decembers ago and doesn’t ever seem to end…
Blog posts are now only required every other week by Sunday at Midnight. Sure we can continue to do one a week, hell we could do one a day if we wanted but still that would only count towards our every other week blog post quota.
So, now you know why last week’s blog post didn’t happen (save the hate mail please!) and know you know why next week’s isn’t going to happen. And that is your latest Andrea update!
And now for the selfie...